Contexts and Constructs

We have been asked to address points of vocational reflection in our journal. That is not meant to be a conscious musing on the subject of a potential future career so much as a general push to bring to the surface things one might begin to understand better about themselves or even epiphanies that one might typically downplay to lower realms of thought. For myself, I have been trying to be increasingly aware of the different contexts and constructs within which I try to define myself. These contexts vary greatly, from situational contexts such as Texas, California, and London, to personally definitive constructs such as actor, Christian, brother, and student. I have always taken pride in my ability to transfer myself from one set of contexts and constructs to another with relative ease. I have always been a person who would move from the classroom to the theatre, and then from the theatre to church; or from Starbucks’ ritzy, smug atmosphere to El Chico’s (let’s just say neither ritzy nor smug) atmosphere; not to mention from Texas to So Cal, and then London. I’ve always considered myself to feel at home and among friends, be it a group of athletes, bands, geeks, youth interns, actors, or even the occasional surfers. With the opportunity to come to London for the year, I have been exposed to many constructs that I had never considered before. More over, I have been put into very convoluted mixtures of contexts, being a So Cal student, from Texas, studying in London, on the “posh” side of town no less, surrounded by the rich and super rich, trying to “fit in” while not compromising my individuality is a very interesting place to be. To take it further, I’m a republican in a republican/American-hating-malinformed-superliberal-misunderstanding union of countries. I can take it even further then that, but I’ll spare you the headache. In the past couple of days I have been dwelling specifically on the idea of myself as an artist, which is not something that I traditionally would have characterized myself as. However, through my classes here I have been spending an ever-increasing amount of time in museums and admiring the hoards of monuments around this city. This has brought to the surface, in no uncertain terms, how much I freaking love this stuff! So, where do I fit in with this? I know that I love to explore these masterpieces and that some of them strike me very strongly, but at the same time I also know that I have no desire what so ever to be a painter, or even a “pure artist” for that matter. My art comes so often in the form of pictures, or images that I can manipulate to create a feeling, or a succession of events played out before the eyes to leave an impression you don’t really understand. For what is art worth if it doesn’t convey something greater then the image presented? How do I mix my love, and growing appreciation for the arts with this idea of vocation? There are a number of things that I also know about myself; I know I like working with good, creative people, I like working with technology, I like working with audio and video, I like changing environments, I like money. To be completely candid, I have a strong desire to make a fair amount of money when I grow up… I want my wife to have the decision of whether or not she wants to work, I want my kids to go to whatever school they want to (like I did), I want to be able to by my mom her firebird. So all I really need to do is find a technologically based, artistically inclined, creatively derived, group oriented, profitable AV position somewhere. Perfect. Haha. I really love you if you actually read this far!