Aero

Top Three Signs that you have done more than your share of flying:

1) You recognize flight attendants and know which airport they operate out of.

2) You know the layout of the seats on different aircraft to the point that you know that being in seat 21E on an American Airlines 777 means you’re in the middle seat of the second row of coach before you get to the airplane.

3) You know where the gate you’re connecting with is, even in an airport that is not the one by your house.

I used to love flying. There’s something magical about soaring above the earth at thirty-nine thousand feet, but the more I do it, the more I begin to loathe it. Maybe it’s just the fact that I can’t sleep on planes, especially since they almost never turn the lights off in coach. Maybe it’s just the fact that the larger you are, the less room you have, and I inevitably end up between two people larger than myself, and on international flights, the people I’m between inevitably don’t believe in bathing. Maybe it’s just that it got old. Perhaps if I was nicer about it, they wouldn’t give me such a hard time, but I want that arm rest and I learned a long time ago that elbows are just about the only way to get it. It’s probably all of the above, and then some, but flying no longer holds any mystique for me. I’m ready for that whole space plane thing to get going, you know, the one that can take you all the way around the world in two hours. Yeah, that would be nice. Or perhaps I just need to make a filthy amount of money and buy my own personal Learjet. I wouldn’t end up in the position I am in that way. In the mean time, anyone got an extra Learjet lying around they feel like letting me borrow?