Words on a Page

For the past week I have been in deep over my head with stacks of term papers due this up coming Tuesday. Mostly, I have been pouring over Edmund Burke’s explanation of the sublime, moreover, my rebuttal of his arguments, and their manifestations in three of the paintings exhibited by Joseph Mallord William Turner in 1842 at the British Royal Academy of Art. This essay has been giving me trouble. For some reason, though I have a complete grasp on the intricacies of the arguments I am trying to present, I am having much difficulty simply getting the words on the page. “Words on the page” was a mantra that suited me very well last semester as I coached myself, “You know what you’re talking about, you make good arguments, just get the words on the page and don’t worry about anything else right now.” I am partially being held up at the moment because I have, probably unwisely, decided to tackle a subject, which I find interesting, however is squarely within the area over which my professor did her doctoral dissertation at Berkeley before returning to her native Britain. That situation leaves me in a precarious balance. If I do this well and articulate my arguments precisely and completely I will not only be guaranteed an A for the essay, but be in the teacher’s good graces approaching finals (in two weeks). However, if I present my argument fairly well, but miss out on a couple bits of information, whish she is sure to be aware of, I am setting myself up to receive no higher than a B-. There is precious little chance for me to rest among some middle ground here. Though, in a larger sense, that is what I have set myself up for throughout my entire colligate direction. I can, and will be, successful in this. I will be. I just needed to take a second and get some words on a page, even if they are not currently extending the three pages I currently have for my term paper.

GREEN

I must say that this past weekend was the shortest one I’ve had all year long. That was due to the fact that I had a visitor. This little art student I know flew all the way from LA to come spend three days with me. She also happens to be my girlfriend… I know, Lucky me! We spent almost all of the weekend in museums, which neither of us had any problems with at all. Besides, they’re (say it like Tracy) “FRRRRRRRREEee!” Friday, we went to the Victoria and Albert museum where we saw everything from JMW Turner and John Constable paintings, to plaster casts of Michelangelo’s David and the front of the Baptistery at the Duomo, to two of the dresses from the recent film production of The Phantom of the Opera. Spent most of the afternoon there, then walked around a little while more before diner. Saturday, we went to the Tate Britain. Not only does this museum have a number of great artists in its galleries, but they had on a Turner Whistler Monet exhibit which both of us really wanted to go to, so we did. It was so much fun to sit there, staring at these incredible, world renowned, paintings and see if I could hold my own talking about them with a second generation art student. I really didn’t have a chance, but I put up a valiant effort none the less. If you’re overcome with jealousy and want to drool more, you can check out the actual paintings that were included in the exhibit at www.tate.co.uk. After the Tate Britain, we went over to the Tate Modern. There we looked at more Monet, Picasso, Mondrian, Warhol, Rothko, and so on, and so on. We followed that up with a good old fish and chips diner and headed to Trafalgar Square to go to the National Gallery. Only, we didn’t make it to the National Gallery because there was a huge anti-war rally going on. Interestingly enough, I was dressed more blatantly American that day than I have in a long time. Laci? Well, she was wearing her ‘It’s Better In Texas Shirt’! Awesome. We strolled through the piles of beer cans and stood in the background watching the insanity for a while. The ignorance was amazing. I particularly found the phrase “21 countries is another word war” to be quite humorous. Especially considering the fact that a couple moths ago the problem was supposedly that we didn’t have enough other countries. Anyway, Sunday morning we had to get up early and be on the Tube by nine in order to get Laci to the airport in time to make her noon flight back to LA. It was a great weekend, but it was way too short. But, I’ve only got 22 days left before I make it back to Texas… until then I’ll have to play Pat Green and Jerry Jeff a little louder and study a little harder. Adios

Today (is gonna be the day that they throw it all back to you)

It's a beautiful day, the SUN is shining, the birds are singing outside my window, the jackhammer doing construction down the street didn't start till 6.30, and I woke up at five am and couldn't fall back asleep. That's okay though, because it inspired me to get up and make the eggs and bacon I purchased yesterday. And what a glorious breakfast it was! I have only another two classes separating me from the weekend and I believe that redheads naturally enjoy Patty's day more than most.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAXON!!! My little bro today leaves the ranks of pre-adolescence and joins the few, the proud, the teen-agers. A club which took me seven years to advance from, only just leaving a few months prior, in January of this year. Jaxon, love it, make sure you give mom a big hug today, and let her know that you'll always be her baby. You don't really have a choice, I'm her baby too.

Mom, I love you.

Jaxon in Hawaii, Summer ’03 (sorry this old pic is the only one I have)

Creation

I’m in one of those moods again, and I find myself here often, where I have an overwhelming, innate desire to create. The desire for creation is one which I believe that God has inset in everyone of us from the moment of our conception, not the physical conception that results in the birth of a human personage, but divine conception (not to be confused with the immaculate conception) whereupon God weaves us together, at some point in His neverending mind, one by one, individually receiving divine influence at our own creation. This desire must stem from being made in His likeness with the understanding that His nature must contain somewhere at its root the same desire for creation. How else could existence have been spoken into existence? Throughout my life this desire to create has manifested itself in innumerable forms. As a child I played with Legos, and numerous other similar toys based on the building block concept. I always use the directions that come in the box to make the space ship or boat or whatever the set is intended to build, but it never lasts long, the desire always surfaces to build something better, cooler, stronger, more powerful, but above all original. I used to even have a sketchbook, though I would never share my complete inability to draw with you. That desire to create, and create something original, has carried me into sound mixing, computer graphics, poetry, video editing, I even try to play guitar. What I can never figure out is, what is the natural resolution of this desire? Can I ever create something that fulfils my desire to create? What would that take? I have to assume that the only logical fulfillment of that desire would have to be the creation of perfection. But does the poet strive for the perfect poem, does the painter strive for the perfect painting, does/did God strive for the perfect creation? Apart from the latter, which I do not begin to approach an understanding of, the answer is clear. Yes, and no. There are times when an artist or a poet strives for something that would be viewed as the technical pinnacle of their vocation, but in many cases they come nearer to achieving they come nearer to achieving that lofty plain when their intent is something much nearer to expression, when their desire is simply to put a piece of themselves into their work and perhaps convey a little meaning, a little insight, a little epiphany, that is otherwise impossible to convey. Is that the true goal then? The impossible? Again, yes and no. What about beauty? So often beauty seems to be the de facto desire when the creations of a person, perhaps deemed to be an artist, are taken in. Once more, yes and no, so often beauty is pushed aside in favor for the grotesque or sublime. I believe that it is painfully clear that this is another question that I will not receive the answer to till I can ask God himself someday in the hereafter, for I believe that the actual answer to that lies in the very meaning for existence’s creation. For now, I’ll simply turn my desire for creation back towards Peperdine and see if I can’t manage to create a humanities term paper, after all, it is Friday night, why wouldn’t I be doing homework?

Taiwan and Tangents

Feeling extremely out of contact with the current state of affairs of the world at large recently I spent a little time this evening perusing CNN, WSJ, FOXnews, and MSNBC. Once I had riffled through all the headlines bringing me up to date on the Jacko trial and Clinton’s soon to come surgery I found that the biggest commonality amidst all the outlets to be a growing concern over Taiwan/China relations. It seems that the Chinese have introduced a bill authorizing the use of military force in the event that Taiwan takes steps to formally declare their independence. The United States has come down firmly on the Taiwanese side of the matter, defending the Island Nation’s right to succession. I find myself at a crossroads when it comes to the matter and a number of intrinsic questions seem to arise. First of all, is it hypocritical of the US to support Taiwanese succession when this country itself is firmly set against the idea? Before I take this off into tangentville, I would also like to note that some people believe China to be THE military and economic force in the world today, and the US is merely still playing out the role because there hasn’t been a major conflict to re-establish the international pecking order. What would happen if conflict between Taiwan and mainland China broke out? Would the US fulfill its obligations to Taiwan? Could the US fulfill its obligations to Taiwan? I would really like to see what you think, I’ll just say, I don’t know.

As far as the question of secession goes, I’ll go ahead and state very clearly that I am a conservative idealist. I, for one, do support any place’s right to secession in the event that it determines the country is no longer satiating its needs and right to life and liberty. I think that all other internal avenues must first be exhausted, but sometimes it does become necessary to secede. That is, after all, what the American Revolution was, nothing less than secession from the British Empire. The American Civil War, as a counter example, conjures questions about the ability to follow though with internal diplomacy, but one thing to come out of the Civil War that I firmly disagree with is the abolition of the States’ right to secede. I wonder if the US is missing out on its historical grandeur by forsaking the concept of federalism and moving closer and closer to an actualization of a single Nation/State, divided into 50 counties, which simply retain the historical nomenclature of the entities they once were. Now, I by no means mean to appear reactionary, I would simply like some consideration for our current situation. Is America still the United States, or do we need to recognize how drastic of a change has been effected in that dynamic?

God Bless the USA!

What a crazy past couple weeks it has been. I wake up one day and I’m in London complaining about the fact that it’s still warm here despite all the warnings of how this is supposed to be an extremely harsh winter. The next day I find myself in Florence standing in awe of Michelangelo’s masterpiece David. After a few days in Italy I shoot back to London just in time to spend Valentines Day at parliament and an extra long history class. Pack, go to bed, wake up just in time to hop on a bus to a plane to Ireland for a week. Come back to London just in time to have an afternoon’s rest before the beginning of a snowy midterms week the next day. Then four days later back to the airport for an 11 hour flight back to LA for spring break. What do I have to say about that? Well, I’m sick of course. Not enough sleep, plus tons of stress, on top of LA’s pollution and the transfer from a couple weeks of snowy weather to So Cal sun bridged by an 11 hour plane ride breathing everyone’s germs has broken me. Now you know what it takes to bring me down (and if you feel inclined to provide the international travel to do so, please feel free). Not to worry though, I have a girlfriend who is just loving the opportunity to treat me like a helpless three year old. I would be content to just lay on the couch till it all blows over, but she’s constantly there asking if I need orange juice, cough drops, Tylenol, a cold rag for my head, a popsicle, or warm salt water to gargle with? Well, I’m almost back to 100 percent now and am once again enjoying every minute of peace I can pull out of this glorious reprieve. Yes, I’m back in the good old USA for a week, home of large portions, ice and refills, steak that tastes like it came from a cow rather than a donkey and a phenomenon known as iced tea in most restaurants. It was great to see my friends back on campus at Pepperdine. It was nice to see the sunshine again. It was good to be driving on the right side of the road without fearing for your life, willing the cab driver to get back across the yellow line to the left side of the road. But, save for the thrill of seeing Laci again, and nothing could match that, the best thing I have done here is eat. Homemade scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast (yes, she even cooks for me, how awesome is that?), In n Out for lunch, capped off with Outback for diner. It doesn’t matter what else happens during the day when your meals look like that, it will be a good day. I am having the time of my life traveling around Western Europe, taking in things that most people never get to see, and seeing them with my own eyes rather than in an antiquated art book or history channel special. At some level however, I recognize my innate joy at the prospect of coming home to the US has grown with each departure. It’s an incredible experience to take off and see the world, but it’s made my roots stronger. There is not place else I could ever live than the country that bore me. I say now with more passion and vigor than ever before GOD BLESS THE USA!!!